A basic gift Gift Bag – Offensive Crayons

By A Mystery Man Writer

Last updated 17 Jul 2024

A basic gift Gift Bag – Offensive Crayons

Bored of the same old gift bags? Us too.Material: Kraft Handle: Brown RibbonAvailable only in one size 11 x 8 x 4 inches28.0 x 20 x 10 cm Think wrapping paper is overrated? Elevate your passive-aggressiveness with our snarky gift bag. It's the white elephant in the room that actually makes your gag gifts even gag-ier.
Includes:

Original Offensive Crayons
Red, White, and Fuck You Edition
Holiday Edition
Porn Pack
Offensive-ISH Edition
Pot Pack

Tired of pretending to laugh at your office Secret Santa's 'funny gifts'? Offensive Crayons are the gag gift for those who understand that humor should have a bite. Ideal for white elephant events that have lost all sense of irony.

Aren’t you tired of coloring with “blue” or “burnt sienna?” Us, too. What you need are Offensive Crayons. Gone are the safe colors like “goldenrod” or “violet.” Now we have “Suspicious Cold Sore Red” and “Privilege” (exclusively for our Caucasian buyers, of course). Say goodbye to your politically correct old color box and welcome this family of blunt, direct and irreverent shades.

24 Assorted Color(s), or at least 22-23 different, since we used the cheapest labor we could find
Non toxic, gluten free (probably), vegan (we think), we might as well call them “organic”
Carefully constructed by, more than likely, a small, underpaid child in China
OUR MONEY BACK GUARANTEE (that they’re actually crayons – no promises for anything else)
Safe for ages 17+ (or whatever, we don’t care)

Product Dimensions (in inches): 2.80 x 3.70 x 1.10

Tired of pretending to laugh at your office Secret Santa's 'funny gifts'? Offensive Crayons are the gag gift for those who understand that humor should have a bite. Ideal for white elephant events that have lost all sense of irony.

SET OF 48 COLORED PENCILS - Pre-sharpened for better stabbingor coloring. We're not liable with what you do with them. Built-in sharpener included.
COLOR NAMES YOU WON'T FIND ELSEWHERE- Blue Waffle, Barely Legal Lime, Mentally Ill Mango, Back to the Fuchsiaand more ridiculous colors you won't believe some factory allowed us to print. Same colors in each box.
CHOOSE YOUR FAVORITE BOX- Only 2,500 Units available of each. Grab your favorite just in case we don't reprint it! (Same colors in each box)
100% Satisfaction Guarantee - That they're actually colored pencils, and not anything else. Functional, sexy, and some would say the best gift you'll ever give someone outside of Plan B.

Tired of pretending to laugh at your office Secret Santa's 'funny gifts'? Offensive Colored Pencils are the gag gift for those who understand that humor should have a bite. Ideal for white elephant events that have lost all sense of irony.

Reflect on the misery that the holiday season brings your life with colors that perfectly compliment it.In the spirit of capitalism, celebrate the season with colors that accurately reflect the awkwardness of the holiday season. We promise this set is a marginally better gift than the $10 Starbucks card you planned to give Janet in accounting.

24 Assorted Color(s), or at least 22-23 different, since we used the cheapest labor we could find
Non toxic, gluten free (probably), vegan (we think), we might as well call them “organic”
Carefully constructed by, more than likely, a small, underpaid child in China (aka. “Santa’s elves”)
OUR MONEY BACK GUARANTEE (that they’re actually crayons – no promises for anything else)

Bored of the same old gift bags? Us too.

Material: Kraft
Handle: Brown Ribbon

Available only in one size
11 x 8 x 4 inches
28.0 x 20 x 10 cm

Think wrapping paper is overrated? Elevate your passive-aggressiveness with our snarky gift bag. It's the white elephant in the room that actually makes your gag gifts even gag-ier. Holiday cheer sold separately.